I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
