So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Randomize
