She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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