I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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