I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
