Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Come on in and take your pants off
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