Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
