My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
