so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
