look no pants
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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