i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!