That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.