I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.