Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
