i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I need water and some morals
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
