Sry I called you an 8
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
