This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
