He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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