There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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