everyone is single if you try hard enough
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
