I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm really busy with my period
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