I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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