Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
