i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
