I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
