I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
How external is "for external use only"?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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