you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
