I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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