drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
my shit smells like andre
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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