What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Oh god it's open bar.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
