I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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