she was so not down for the gang bang
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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