mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
