You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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