ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
