I showed him my bush... on skype.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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