there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
