I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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