took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
