what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
