lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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