I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
