I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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