I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I have feelings that need drinking.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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