Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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