I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize