Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
