How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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