take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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