I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
