Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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