According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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