I queefed so loud it echoed.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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