she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
