2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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