Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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