I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize