those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize