My Higher Power is John Stamos
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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