Where is the hickey?
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize