:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
