When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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