She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
