I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
