lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
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She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
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Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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