WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
