I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize