Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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