i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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